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DEALING WITH THE CAUSE OF INSOMNIA: CONDITIONED INSOMNIA
A very few cases of insomnia are purely habitual, but they are interesting, because they show how strong conditioning can be. Insomnia often starts with a short-term crisis or emotional upset; for most people, normal sleep returns once the crisis is over. But for others, not sleeping becomes a habit which can last a very long time.
One woman suffered from insomnia for 20 years, which began when she had a nervous breakdown. She had long since recovered from the breakdown and the reasons for it; she had simply developed, at a time when she was vulnerable, the habit of not sleeping. She visited a hypnotherapist for a totally unrelated problem; on her third session she fell spontaneously into a very deep sleep. The therapist wrapped her in a rug and left her for an hour before waking her. When she got home she slept for the rest of the day and through the night. The pattern was broken, and she returned to normal sleep.
Insomnia quite often starts during an emotional crisis, when the sufferer’s pre-bed routine, the bedroom and even the bed, become associated with unhappiness and sleeplessness. People whose insomnia is conditioned in this way often sleep very well in strange beds when they go away — or in even odder circumstances.
A 19-year-old American student usually took two to three hours to fall asleep. As a child he had lain awake, anxious and unhappy, listening to his parents’ violent quarrels. They were divorced when he was 13, but his insomnia continued. He had two years of psychotherapy, but although his therapist found him remarkably healthy in view of his family difficulties, his sleep didn’t improve. Asked to describe his best night’s sleep during the past year, he said that it had been during a mountain-climbing expedition; forced by circumstances to spend the night on a cold, narrow ledge, tied to the rocks, he fell asleep almost immediately and had a very good night! In those desperately uncomfortable surroundings there were no associations with his childhood anxiety*
Much conditioned insomnia starts in childhood. People who were sent to bed when they were small for being naughty may subconsciously associate bed and bedtime with anger and punishment. Some children are sent to bed for adult convenience long before they are really sleepy; they lie awake Reeling bored and frustrated, developing a habit of wakefulness which continues into adulthood.
These negative feelings are enhanced if the child overhears family rows, or even their parents entertaining friends and having a good time. The children of single parents can feel particularly excluded if they are suddenly packed off to bed when a friend or lover arrives. Lying in bed becomes associated with anxiety, or a feeling of being unwanted, feelings which can also spill over into everyday life. You can begin to make changes to ensure that bedtime and your bedroom become associated with sleep, not sorrow.
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